Focus on What You Can Control: Steering Your Ship

Focus on what you can control to reduce stress, boost productivity, and gain clarity. Embrace this mindset for calmness and transformation.

To focus on what you can control means allocating your time and energy to things you can change or manage immediately. Small practices, such as having a set wake-up and bedtime, can ground you during hectic schedules. Establishing specific objectives also helps create that feeling of calm. We've found that thinking like this reduces anxiety and improves emotional well-being for a lot of people. The following sections offer practical advice and moving reminders about staying grounded when all around you is chaos.

Key Takeaways

• By focusing on what you can control, you can find calm and clarity, even when the world around you seems unpredictable or overwhelming.
• By identifying your influence zone—what you can truly change—you use your energy more wisely and avoid frustration over things outside your reach.
• Developing emotional resilience by practicing acceptance and awareness of what we can't control and cultivating the ability to let go of those things leads to improved mental health.
• Focusing your attention on your thoughts, actions, and choices empowers you to make positive changes in both your work and personal life.
• Learning to set boundaries and manage your energy are essential practices for maintaining balance and preventing burnout.
• True empowerment comes from selective focus, not from trying to control everything, allowing you to thrive in a wide range of situations.

Your Control Sphere

The concept of a control sphere, sometimes referred to as a circle of control or sphere of influence, is a meaningful endeavor that helps individuals manage their mental health and determine where to allocate their energy. It's not a new concept rooted in Stoic philosophy and contemporary psychology. The core is simple: focus on what you can control and let go of the rest. This practice not only reduces stress but also fosters a positive outlook, increasing happiness regardless of your geographic location or life circumstances. Attention—the way you select what to focus on and what to ignore—determines how expansive or limited your control sphere seems. Your attention is the only control sphere for your mind, and how you use it can radically shift your perspective and possibilities.

Inner Realm

Further, the majority of control lies in your inner sphere, which is crucial for maintaining mental health. This is where you begin to master your inner game. Not only that—as an individual, you define how you spend each day and the decisions you make! Your calendar, your diet, your level of physical activity, and your boundaries with other people—all of that is included. The great Stoic philosophers—Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius—wrote extensively on this practice. What we can learn from them is that while you can't change the world, perhaps you can change how you think about it. Once you shift your mindset to only what you can control, that's when you begin to feel the most relaxed. Suddenly, you are no longer burdened by external factors and can focus on personal growth. 

Focus is your greatest asset in the inner realm. As psychologists like Daniel Levitin have discovered, each of us has our mental bottleneck—only so much information can pass through at the same time. Take advantage of that brief opening to examine your actions and intentions. Taking the time to do so provides you with a greater feeling of control! This, in turn, can help you feel less stressed and more fulfilled overall. If you know you're going to have a difficult day, it may not be possible to avoid the worst of it. However, you have the power to decide how to respond, what you consume, and when to take a step back, embracing a positive outlook even in challenging situations.

Outer Factors

Other factors land far beyond your sphere of influence—major organizational decisions, climate, and geopolitics. These can be very distracting, and it's hard not to get pulled into them, particularly when news outlets and social media constantly place them right in front of us. Working to improve these is like rolling a massive boulder up the hill. It's exhausting and makes you feel defeated.

It's easy for people to overestimate or underestimate their influence on the outside universe. If you are anxious or depressed, you may even come to believe that you have zero agency. Or they would, except that some may be over-optimistic, thinking that everything can be changed with enough work, only to get burned out. Understanding what's truly out of your control enables you to focus energy-saving efforts where they'll have the most significant impact.

Influence Zone

The space between your control sphere and the universe at large is a gray area—the influence zone. While you obviously can't control what everyone else does, there are a lot of things you can influence. Perhaps you propose an innovative solution to a problem at work or persuade a family member to take positive action. None of these actions will guarantee results, but each can help tilt the balance in your favor.

Culture plays a huge role in determining how the public perceives this zone. Other cultures instill a sense of confidence in individuals, encouraging them to speak up and attempt to shape their environment according to their desires. Some prefer group harmony and conformity. Your attention and influence are shaped by these perspectives, as well as your perception of your agency. Keep a keen eye on what you can control. In doing so, you'll achieve more ambitious objectives, forge deeper connections, and become more empowered citizens of the world.

Benefits of Control Focus

Shifting your focus to what you can control is a step beyond an attitude adjustment, as it impacts both mental health and emotional resilience. It affects how individuals manage stress, make decisions, and develop resilience to change, fostering a positive outlook. For everyone from truck drivers to artists, this focus on control creates tangible, day-to-day benefits.

Emotional Calm

Acceptance of what you can't control provides emotional calm and contributes to a healthy life. Many workers, regardless of their location, experience stress when their efforts and rewards do not align, or they lack support at work. Cultivating a growth mindset involves directing your effort toward things that you have control over. This means being in control of your calendar and knowing when to request assistance. This goes a long way toward ensuring that emotional calm prevails, even on the hardest days. Rather than getting sucked into the chaos of office politics or global events, you zoom out. You exhale, and emotional tranquility returns, even though the world has not changed at all.

Mental Clarity

When you focus on what you can control, mental clarity follows, fostering a positive outlook. Attentional control, or the ability to actively select what to pay attention to and ignore, allows us to sift through the chaos and reduce distractions. Think of your brain like a spotlight in a theater. Aim it only at things you have control over, such as how you plan your day or what you decide to learn—that approach makes anything feel more doable. This strategy enhances emotional resilience and reduces negative emotions. Kant, the great German philosopher, wrote extensively on the worth of sincere thought. By avoiding the wasted effort that comes from focusing on what you can't control, you create the mental space to work on solving real problems and making more responsible decisions. At work, this translates into fewer concerns over corporate bureaucracy or arbitrary guidelines and an increased emphasis on the job you're able to complete.

Action Power

Focusing your efforts on areas you can realistically control creates a feedback loop that fosters personal growth and a positive outlook, making you feel like you're moving forward. Understand what's within your control! Consider where you make health decisions and how you react to constructive criticism so that you can start setting specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely objectives. This approach not only enhances emotional resilience but also creates incremental victories that compound, generating new momentum in the process. Those who manage what they can control tend to report higher productivity and experience more positive outcomes. They take ownership of their skill development and time management, which in turn lowers their anxiety. In taxing professions like public service, this translates to focusing on what you do best to address your issues instead of pointing fingers at others. The outcome is better quality of work and more ownership.

Resilience Boost

Every little step counts in fostering emotional resilience. A growth mindset boosts control focus, enhancing mental health by training you to pivot when circumstances shift, putting you back in the saddle when you fall.

Master Your Controllable

Control is an essential aspect of self, inextricably linked to autonomy and a sense of fairness. Mastering your controllables is a never-ending process that contributes to personal growth. Every action represents an opportunity to develop greater self-awareness and emotional resilience, as well as agency to determine your environment — including when everything around you changes in the blink of an eye. It all begins with understanding what is—and isn't—in your hands.

1. Identify Inputs

A good place to begin is to create two lists: things you can control and things you cannot control. This modest gesture provides near-immediate insight into your mental health. In sports, for instance, a tennis player can control their serve routine, but not an unexpected downpour. On the home front, you are in control of your personal preparation, mindset, and decisions. You can't control the public's mood or the news cycle. Understanding is what allows you to focus your efforts where they will have the most positive outcomes. 

Pay attention to what you focus your thoughts on. When you concentrate excessively on things you can't control, it's more likely to lead to feelings of overwhelm or helplessness. By taking the emphasis off external factors and focusing instead on what you can control, you can help restore a sense of agency and emotional resilience. This shift in focus can lead to a healthier mental state and a more positive outlook on life.

2. Reframe Thoughts

Because it's true—your thoughts create your reality. During challenging times, please pay attention to your go-to thought patterns, as they can have a significant impact on your mental health. Are they based on what you can control or what is out of your control? This awareness is foundational, particularly for those who experience ADHD, who may find themselves overwhelmed by a rush of emotions or a change in focus. Reframe Thoughts. Change "This is out of my control" to "What's within my control today?" This simple re-framing can reduce anxiety and ignite more positive decisions. It can help anyone—students, teachers, politicians, and corporate leaders.

3. Direct Actions

Energy is grounded in action, and action inspires connection. Spend 10-15 minutes each day in advance to determine your priorities for the day. Each small win, whether it's deciding on a meeting agenda or laying out your clothes for the morning, creates positive momentum. Athletes employ pre-performance routines to maintain concentration. Imagine golfers preparing to take a shot; they focus on their actions rather than getting flustered by competitors or spectators.

Routine gets you into the flow, that magical state of concentrated bliss in which challenge and skill collide. Flow is not only for athletes! You, too, can make a difference by mastering your controllables and ignoring the rest.

4. Manage Energy

Take a moment to stop and focus on your breathing. A simple breathing exercise—breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds—can help focus the mind and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. Mindfulness practice, even just a few minutes a day, wires your brain to start recognizing what's truly here and what's just noise. This is particularly beneficial for participants who have difficulty with rapidly shifting attention or difficulty following multiple directions.

It's not just time that energy is currency for – it's what you focus on. Salient things, the things that jump out at you, they suck you in, but you can consciously redirect back to what's essential.

5. Set Boundaries

Boundaries help you not tip over. They delineate your sphere of influence from that of everyone else. Set boundaries. Learn to say no when appropriate. Release what you can't control. This makes room for what matters. That's hard to do; having boundaries allows you to adhere to what you set out to accomplish.

Navigate Uncontrollable

Each day is filled with items over which you have power and those over which you do not. Taming the domesticated and Sorting them out greatly eases the road ahead. When you focus on what you can control—your words, your thoughts, your small acts—you foster emotional resilience and a positive outlook, freeing yourself to navigate the rest without fear.

Accept Limits

Allowing yourself to sit within your limits can feel intimidating, much like standing at the shore of the ocean. You might realize that you cannot ever stop the tides, but you can decide to stop fighting against them, fostering a sense of emotional resilience. Some find it helpful to create two lists: one for what you can control and one for what's beyond your control, promoting a more positive perspective. This effortless act takes that general feeling of not-quite-right and gives you something to do about it. Just the practice of planning for setbacks and anticipating their arrival takes some of the sting out when they do show up. Accepting limits is not an act of defeat. It's a more effective and impactful way to use your energy.

Practice Letting Go

Letting go isn't a one-and-done decision; it's a skill you develop over time. Mindfulness, originally from Buddhist meditation practices, has evolved into a potent cognitive skill that enhances mental health. It encourages you to observe your thoughts and emotional reactions without becoming attached to them. This non-judging, non-striving attention reduces stress and promotes calm, helping to combat anxiety. It's like a nurturing parent, constantly redirecting you when your attention drifts.

Focusing, a psychotherapeutic process, uses the "felt sense" to see what's going on inside and let go of what doesn't serve you. Others engage in what's called negative visualization—intentionally picturing scenarios they would rather avoid—to fortify their minds against uncontrollable. For some, stargazing or simply gazing at the night sky makes their anxieties seem insignificant, reducing them to a mere speck in the universe's grand scale. Having a routine makes a big difference, as well. Create a predictable daily routine! Practices such as an early morning walk or afternoon tea break become anchors that reconnect you to your center despite the whirlwind that life can be.

Build Tolerance

Developing tolerance for the uncontrollable is a gradual process influenced by both mental health and emotional resilience. As the attention restoration theory explains, exposure to nature restores our focus, offering "soft fascinations"—like the rhythmic movement of branches or the murmuring of water. These instances of easy attention are key to refreshing your supply of working memory, an essential aspect of your brain that holds competing ideas and directs your behavior.

Observational learning, also known as social learning, plays a crucial role as well. Watching how others handle setbacks—such as a friend staying calm after missing a train—can inspire new ways to react when things go awry. You gradually become better at tolerating these intense feelings, cultivating a more positive outlook. Your brain becomes better at prioritizing what's important and discarding everything else.

Control in Action

Control isn't about imposing radical change on the world around us. It's about cultivating a growth mindset and understanding what is changeable and what is not. This perspective enhances emotional resilience during times of increased stress or chaos. By concentrating on what's achievable, we avoid wasting time and energy – and opening the door to disappointment – trying to accomplish what is out of reach. This approach fosters a tangible feeling of empowerment and calm, both in the office, at home, and in personal interactions.

Work Life

For most people, work is a greater test of one's attention span than any movie. Distraction is the norm—emails, phone calls, meetings—not to speak of a mind that drifts. Cognitive inhibition—the mind's ability to filter out what is irrelevant—comes into play as a key skill in this realm. If a project lingers, the Ovsiankina effect could take hold, motivating a person to complete work that was otherwise abandoned. Many find it helpful to use a decision matrix —a simple 2x2 grid — to sort work issues by what can be controlled and what cannot. This helps maintain concentration on activities that have the most significant impact.

In many jobs, informal learning is how most growth occurs—through trial and error, feedback from coworkers, or simply reflecting on what works. In addition, merely tracking the work activities engaged in sheds light on the situation. Rating them by their energy consumption uncovers what energizes or depletes a person at work. The better you understand all your options, the better you will be able to use time to your advantage.

Personal Life

Life beyond work is similarly filled with a variety of both controllable and uncontrollable aspects. Environmental factors, including built environments, matter. Genetics, for example, determine life span and health. While those may be fixed, the choices we make daily—such as sleep, diet, and physical activity—are squarely within our control. Mindfulness and daily reflection enable individuals to recognize where their thoughts and behaviors are taking them. That clarity helps you focus your time on what's important and move on from what doesn't.

Once you have those experiences, it flips your perspective on control. Whether through pregnancy, illness, or significant life transitions, many people develop effective coping strategies. Participants typically emerge with greater self-awareness and clearer plans of action, making their days more aligned with their goals. It's about establishing boundaries: knowing when to say yes and when to say no.

Relationships

No one likes to be ignored, and attention-seeking behavior is as human as they come. Other times, though, it's motivated by more profound desires—as in the case of seeking approval or overcoming feelings of isolation. Planned ignoring to address excessive attention-seeking behavior is the easy part; the more challenging work is establishing counterproductive boundaries.

Active listening is a skill that takes training and practice to develop. In dialogue, presence is key—a calm, sustained attention to the speaker, filtering out the noise. This creates room for deeper, more authentic relationships. With time, education, and effort, knowing when to encourage the growth of the relationship and when to release it fosters trust and freedom.

The Control Paradox

The control paradox is the source of a great liberating truth. Much of life is outside our control, but we are still masters of how we respond to the world that unfolds, which is crucial for maintaining mental health. That perspective can profoundly reshape how we approach challenges, failure, and, ultimately, every decision we make each day. Ancient thinkers like Epictetus and modern voices like Viktor Frankl both emphasized that our absolute control lies in our attitudes and actions, not in the events themselves, fostering emotional resilience.

Overcontrol Trap

Overcontrol Trap Trying to control everything is a well-intentioned but draining tendency. Almost everyone falls into this overcontrol trap, thinking that if they control every aspect, they'll create the most ideal result. We all know that life can be unpredictable, and unexpected events can throw us off balance. Plans go out the window, people won't do what you want them to do, and the world races ahead of you on its own time! The more we hold onto control, the more scared and irritated we are, leading to negative emotions.

In the attention economy, for instance, corporations compete for every second of our attention span with distracting advertisements. This "attention theft" may be a nuisance at first, but it is indeed unethical because it attempts to seize that which can never really be possessed. The more we fight against these distractions, the more they consume us, impacting our mental health. That's when we begin to understand how little control we have over them. Instead, we have control over what we decide to focus on. Let's all just be aware of when our attention is being diverted.

True Empowerment

True empowerment comes from understanding what we can change and what we're powerless to influence. Our old Stoic philosophers were right to invest our efforts where we have the might. Stop battling the external world and pay attention to how you respond to it. Viktor Frankl, who survived and lived through unimaginable suffering, said that the one thing we can always choose is our attitude. This concept is deceptively simple yet incredibly powerful. Addressing the problem by making it about small, manageable choices—such as trying a new menu item or taking a different route home—creates a feeling of empowerment. In the end, these little victories compound, leaving us more empowered and less drained by what we cannot control.

Empirical research supports this premise. Research on a positive mental attitude (PMA) shows that when we concentrate on doing things—not the results of what we do—we're happier. When we keep our minds open, we succeed as well. PMA, characterized by qualities such as hope, generosity, and friendliness, attracts positive results and empowers leaders to guide others through the fog of ambiguity and fear.

Selective Focus

Selective Focus is the practice of focusing our energy only on what is essential. The concept has been echoed across disciplines, from cognitive neuroscience to philosophy. For instance, joint attention—when two individuals share attention to an object—has a profound influence on a child's ability to learn vocabulary and make sense of the world. In adults, the ability to be selective about where to focus attention becomes equally important. Visual search is more like spotting a friend in a busy train station. While eye movements can be fast, genuine attention is more than just directing your gaze. It's about being intentional and strategic with where we choose to focus our attention.

Giving up the desire to control others is challenging, but it ultimately leads to greater freedom. When we accept the unknown, fear gives way to curiosity. By selectively focusing on current actions, we create intentional outcomes. This change provides us with a sense of control. It makes us feel more competent, even when the outside world is chaotic.

Conclusion

We can't control what life throws our way. On others, they remain just out of reach. Others fall awkwardly beneath our fingers. To focus on what you can control is to get out of the weeds, out of gridlock, and into forward motion. These little prevention steps help turn a big day into a walk in the park. Take a break at work or choose your project to work on! Significant change can sometimes begin with a single focused choice rather than a comprehensive master plan. Their calm and grit are amplified by focusing their efforts on what they can control. Hear inspiring stories from people who have decided to take control of their future.

In contrast, one employee selected one critical task per day and made meaningful progress! Tired of things not changing for the better? Begin with just one thing you have the power to influence, and see what grows.